Bleed Out

by Casey Wickstrom

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about

Bleed Out
Written and produced by Casey Wickstrom
(c) 2017 Wickstrom Music Trust

credits

released April 30, 2018

All songs written and produced by Casey Wickstrom
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Scott Smith
Recorded live at Scooter's Place, Durango, Colorado
Additional production by Austin Vidonn

Casey Wickstrom: Vocals, guitars, lap slide, bass guitar
Austin Vidonn: Drums

Album photography by Karly Horenn

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all rights reserved

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about

Casey Wickstrom California

Casey Wickstrom is a vocalist and multi-instrumentalist looping artist. He plays guitar, lap slide, three string slide cigar box guitar, bass, drums, uke, and harmonica; he produces and writes his own music. He edits and produces his own music videos. Wickstrom is also a writer, writing blogs and short stories on his website www.caseywickstrom.com ... more

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Track Name: October
Keep in mind,
all I ever wanted was to tell myself that I'm just fine
in these signs of times
these dead leaves send shivers up my spine
but they're just passing by
and I'm seeing ghosts out the corner of my eyes
maybe one last time
this whole thing's gonna make me lose my mind
and I take my time

understand,
all I ever wanted was to tell myself that I'm a man
that can comprehend
all these things that make me what I am
and that this master plan
will bring me love and the beauty of my friends
which never ends
time won't break and neither will it bend
and I look within

keep in line
what I miss the most about you must be your eyes
I'm just killing time
trees they scream and birds refuse to fly
under these red skies
am I right, or did I miss these signs
right before my eyes
in my bed unconscious I will lie
for another time
Track Name: Hollywood & Vine
She says that it's not me
no clarity in desperate times like these
I try to feel complete but I can't compete
with her insanity

She tells me it's alright
I don't have to fight the hate inside my heart
but every time I cross that line
I'm right back where I started

and I try to call her name again
but I just fall away again
and I'm trying to stay clean again
but I'll just fuck it up again

I take my medicine
she lets me in and I black out on her floor
she says she's gonna leave
but she's told me that a thousand times before

I take my time
try to define what makes me feel like I'm alive
but in my mind
slow suicide's the only way to die

and I try to clear my head again
but I'm too far away again
and I'm looking for my closest friend
but he's nowhere to be found again

these days are killing me
can't seem to breathe and I can't find the door
I walk through dreams, inside routines
that bring me lower than before

coffee and cigarettes
loss and regret, this taste inside my mouth
if I stay just one more day
I know I'll never make it out, and

I'll try to run away again
I need to just stay gone again
and I'll never call her name again
goodbye Los Angeles, my friend
Track Name: Lullaby for the Devil
How can I save you girl, can’t even save myself
she says she loves me more than anybody else
I don’t believe her words but I believe her mouth
get myself inside, then I can’t get back out

how can I trust you girl, when the lights go dark
standing in my room I tear myself apart
I’m looking for my pills, she’s looking for her man
I try to hold her close, do the best that I can

but every dream is the same, in a different way
got myself to blame, I got myself to . . .
but every dream’s the same, in a different way
got myself to blame, you know I want to

how can I love you girl, don’t even know my name
she tells me one more time, then she’s here to stay
she wanna hold my hand, she need a little kiss
you ask me what I want, ain’t nothing close to this

how can I quit you girl, her body’s like a drug
she’s got me hooked so hard, now I can’t get enough
she says she wants me all, I hear her call my name
but jealousy is the sweat that’s running down my face

and every drug is the same, in a different way
you know they’re all the same, I know it all is
every drug is the same, running through my veins
and they’re all the same, you know I want this

LA seems so far away
Michelle seems so far away
the crash seems so far away
but Claire seems just like yesterday
Track Name: Hope
I found a death ray of hope
inside a heartbreak to hold
come in from out in the rain
I can't remember her name

and all the drugs that I've done
sit back and wonder where the fuck it'd come from
and how I breathe so differently
it no longer bleeds inside of me

these possibilities burn
from which no one can return
I let it swell, let it drain
from the desert inside my brain

and back and forth I go
stare down the devil and I bargain for my soul
take away everything I've ever loved
and I'm still no lower than I always was

microphones of distant thunder
fall apart under the struggle
drowning myself in disbelief
current undertones of sweet release

I could see myself inside of you
something that no one wants me to
running down in the killing streets
unforgiven in the quarantine
Track Name: Bleed Out
I wear my heart upon my sleeve
there’s no direction left for me
I wash up on the lonely streets
my notebooks drenched in gasoline

I’ve got a problem with myself
can’t reason with the treason inside my head
I need to look beyond myself

I’ve got a head that never quits
can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t cope with this
one wave then another, what’s with this shit
I only want what I can’t get

I need to reason with myself
can’t level with the devil inside my head
I need to look beyond myself

(chorus)
bleed out when nothing really matters
bleed out and call my name again

I wear my heart upon my sleeve
and on this napkin where I bleed
I take it all in stride, you see
with speed and swift accuracy

I need to take it all away
stop and analyze the trauma inside my head
I know there has to be a way

(chorus)
Track Name: Evocation
Sand filtering through my fingertips
calm and steady though I can’t get over this
I’m not ready quite to see the light
obsession, just my frame of mind

my face is painted on the glass
sweet eyes, I cannot take it back
my body raging with the sea
can’t hide the demons in between

(chorus)
this head of mine is a slow dull whine
hearts intertwined, hard to define
matter over mind, these strange new times
all the while the floor’s still bleeding

raindrops that fall with every breath
strange dreams that linger on my flesh
raw beauty, color in my veins
straight to resurrection on the stage

my fingers wrapped around your neck
wake up, I still can’t ease my grasp
hot words that burn like cigarettes
my heart becomes your silhouette

(chorus)
Track Name: Going Home
My life has got me in a terrible place
I call her name and I go under again
I feel the notes sustain, they let me in

I’m having trouble getting over myself
my friends are gone and now they’re somebody else
sit alone and write, get it off my chest
it’s all one in the same, I know it is

and when I look at all the beautiful girls
I’ve never murdered, could you be my first
come closer baby, and tell me where does it hurt

if you should ever get inside of my head
she’ll go in deep and never come out again
I hate/hurt/hear/heal myself more now, than I did as a kid
I hate/hurt/hear/heal myself now than I ever did

(chorus)
I’m going home
I’m going nowhere

I say she’s gotta find a home of her own
the only problem is she can’t live alone
so she stays with me, and the sickness grows

I’d like to take back all the things that I did
but it’s too far for me to go back again
sit and wait right here until the moment ends
stay with myself ’til I go back again

(chorus)

take my time, baby, take my faith
and we go on down and find a better place
walk with me, and I’ll go with her
and we walk on down and find a better world

take my mind, baby, take my space
and we’ll go on down to another place
walk with me, and I’ll go with you
take it all away, if you want me to
Track Name: Bad Influences
Anxieties in a black hole
full of deep regrets and broken whores
if I could ever get to feel you
my love would tear apart and kill you

take time to get the situation
try to understand the devil nature
when I find myself inside a bottle
go on and hit that shit full throttle

go on and work it out

(chorus)

I see your face when I’m bleeding and I
still call your name when I’m sleeping and I
drown in the secrets I’m keeping and I
can’t stop my mind from repeating

gotta go back home so I can meditate
taking too much time, I never get it straight
leave it all to me to overcompensate
she tells me everything will be okay

I see myself in magazines
billboards and silver movie screens
a different world inside my head
before I come back down again

sleep soft while breathing through the static
sweet moments when I thought I had it
wash up in dirty, lonely dreams
my fingers dipped in vaseline

and then I work it out

(chorus)

gotta go back home so I can concentrate
taking too much time, I never mediate
we’re talking so much pain I can’t alleviate
she tells me everything will be okay

just one more verse on top of this
gotta make up time, you know how it is
and I found that I don’t even know you
most people never even come to

and when I think of all the drugs I’ve done
I remember every single goddamn one
every time I used I fell apart
fly close to the sun (son), closer to god

and then I work it out

(chorus)
Track Name: Clarity
Well I haven’t been laid in a month and five days
my hands are starting to shake with every breath that I take
and I can’t sleep at night, ‘cause I know I’m not right
and there’s no use to fight all these demons inside

(chorus)
and it’s the wrong decisions that have led me here
it’s the strange conditions that have led me here
it’s a lack of vision that has led me here
and now it’s being sober that has made this clear

well I ain’t had a drink in maybe almost a week
and I can finally think that I can finally breathe
and I ain’t had no drugs in maybe more than a month
and I now feel the love, and I can’t get enough

(chorus)
Track Name: Upper Hermosa Mountain Blues
I'm looking for a friend that I lost a long time ago
can't lose and I can't win and I guess that I'll never know
can't turn and face the fear because it's breathing down my neck
I think I'll leave this place but I know I'll be coming back.

bartender may I have another shot before I go
this is my last one don't you know
bartender may I have just one more shot, one for the road
I guess that I will never . . .

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